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30th-Oct-2016 11:09 pm - Back

Yikes, it's literally been years. Time has passed me by. I'm still heartbroken and lost. Life changes around me but I'm still stuck in the same predicament. It's so sad and not funny at all. I don't know how I got here and I don't know how to get myself out. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I wish life came with instructions.

1st-May-2009 10:07 am - kailey
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
16th-Apr-2009 09:49 am - weather forecast
Today-beautiful, tomorrow-fantabulous! Weekend-suckage! I think mother nature is fucking with me. I no likey!
14th-Apr-2009 04:44 pm(no subject)
It's been forever and a day since Ive updated it seems.
I dont celebrate holidays. I think you should commemorate and cherish the people you love everyday... not like once a year or because the calendar tells you, too. Anyhow, that's neither here nor there. ha

Saturday - exciting! made plans with some friends that i had not seen in such a long time. It was great. i packed all my shit. loaded up my little baby and inserted directions into my lola (gps) and was on my way... dooobie dooobie doooo! hit a clusterfuck of a traffic jam. i mean the mother of all clusterfucks. unfreakinbelievable! best part about it????? lola was taking me through the long route so i couldve avoided all of that shitznit. oh, well... my friend decided to call me and inform me of such a fact like wayy wayyy too late. she steered me in the right direction and eventually i made it to her place. i loved their appartment btw. its sooo chicago. it was big enough and cozy enough for me! which is all that matters ultimately, right?? HECK YEAH! Can i just say its been way too effin cold lately! what the heck happened to spring?? So, after i make it to my friends apartment and she shows me around and all that good stuff we leave to meet up another friend for lunch/dinner... we went to this pretty neat restaurant. i guess the best part about it was that the walls were purple ha ha atleast thats what my friend likes about it and the reason we went there in the first place. prices were not great but its chicago and i expected that. we ate, had some laughs, reminisced and then parted ways. wait! before i forget my friend brought a "friend" with her who was odd. lol. i mean really odd. she ordered a salad and then she said "my salad tastes like chemicals" and im thinking umm thats not right. so i told her not to eat and she said -" are you kidding me? do u know how many chemicals are in cigarettes?" i was confused i thought we were talking about her salad??? yes i know there are a lot of effin chemicals on cigarettes??? um, yeah, she's spechul!

then we went to this neat bookstore and you guys know how much i love books so yeah i was fascinated! its owned by this lesbian couple so yeah theres a gay section and yeah i was totally intrigued!!!! my friend had to pee and that cut our little visit short. SUCKAGE! i couldve stayed there for hours. before we left i stumbled upon this book... it had like women bodybuilders! omg! scary! i cant even describe it. they didnt even look like women anymore.... i had to look at the whole thing. every picture... sort of like a car accident you just cant stop yourself from looking type of thing. we made it back to her place and played the best effin card game ever!!!!! monopoly but on cards. i mean the genius of the thing is astounding. so i definitely kicked her ass... it had to be done really. i had no choice. ha ha. i remember jen got me all into games and stuff. i never really played much of them as a kid and i usually let her win cause it was important to her but i showed no mercyyyyyyyyyyy this time and it felt good.

then we watched porn! i know odd right? well, i dont really know how it happened but she mentioned how she didnt like gay porn that if she had to watch she prefers straight porn and i was confused... then i confessed i never really watched porn *blushes* so, she looked up this weird website where people videotape their bidness and then post it for the world to see and it was horrific! ha ha.

she works over night so she said she was going to go try take a nap at which point my other friend came to pick me up and show me a good time. we went to this local bar - spin. i hadnt been in such a long time. i think years really and its changed so much. they expanded the place which is good cause i remember how crowded it was the first time we went. their goal was to make me drink. i refused for as long as i could nad then i gave in to the peer pressure. i got tipsy for sure!!!!! i dont usually drink so that shit hit me hard. although id like to think i kept my composure. okay. the best part of the night... we're all sitting down talking or whatever and i turn around and there are boobs in my face basically and im like "oh hello there' and theres this tall girl looking at me and i think she said something but i couldnt really hear anything and i thought she wanted to talk to my friend anyways so i tapped my friend on the shoulder and told her about the girl and my friend just stares at her like uhhh do i know you??? and then the girl mumbles something about rugby or whatever and it was awkward and then she eventually walked away and im still in la la land and i dont even realise she was trying to hit on me. oh my god! i might be just a tad clueless. we all had a laugh at my expense of course.... THEN girl fight. it like excalated so quickly it was weird. one minute our friends are hugging and the next minute theyre shoving eachother and yelling and it was crazy! im such a wasted fool that i think i can control the situation (im lucky i didnt get slapped or something ) so i get close and try to tell em to make love not war and they sort of back off and then tears start pouring and i dont even know what the fuck happened cause i had to pee so bad.

then they kicked us out cause they were closing down. they took me home. i made up the stairs. the door was tricky but i got it opened and then i passed the f out and i had weird dreams that i was bleeding all over. im about to start my period any minute... it better start soon cause im tired of freaking out thinking im bleeding when im not. its very stressful!

my friend finally shows up from work at around 8 am! god, i dont know how she does it?!?! then i woke up cause im used to being up early and she was still sleeping and i was so awake and i didnt know what to do with myself and i kept trying to be quiet but i kept being so loud. i felt so bad and then my brother guilted me into going to a family dinner so i had to ditch my friend and i felt bad cause we were supposed to hang out but i had to leave and then i ate for like 2 hrs straight it was just unbelievable.

the end! that was a lot to type. sorry if it doesnt even make sense.


so thats how cute i looked!

thats from the porn website and it cracked me up so i tooked a picture!

thats my friend and her fishbowls!

thats my friend and me and my poor picture taking skills when im drunk.

no comment!

again no comment!
6th-Apr-2009 12:39 pm - its effin snowing!?
I mean seriously its spring. Wtf??? I need warmth. This is horrible. I'm shaking. I'm wearing a thin lab coat and you know I would wear my hoodie but I don't wanna get it dirrrty with all this shit I deal with at work. So I just have to suffer....


I got this super nice and soft and warm hoodie for so cheap and it made me happy. Its like baby blue and the inside is like this really ultra soft fabric = heaven!

Tomorrow im gettin my hur did and maybe my nose pierced. Im excited! I have the cutest nose ever. I cant wait to decorate it. Okay. Im a little hyper .... Does ether make u hyper?!? I dont know. Ill have to research that and get back to you!

My teeth are chattering and my body is shaking and im too damn cold.... *hold me*
5th-Apr-2009 02:30 pm - scarryyyyyyyy!
Okay! Im watching the 'strangers' - super scarry movie. And someone keeps knocking/banging on the forkin door (in the movie) and its so effin scarry. Jesus. I might poop my pants. No joke!!!!

I came to this kick ass coffee loungy place - argo tea and im in heaven. They make my chai tea just right. So, totally relaxing.... Except for the fucking movie... OH SHIT! The door just opened by itself. Holy shit. My pits are sweating. Im buying a gun. Ha ha.

Omg i just screamed out loud! Embarrassing. Oh and its hailing outside. Weird!
4th-Apr-2009 02:18 pm - glorious effin day!!!!!!!
Okay! So, its effin beautiful outside. Yeah, its a bit nipply but the sun is out and birds are chirping and fuck i dont have to work. Its great!

I finished ALL my laundry last night. Cause im an effin pro... Thats right! Then this morning i woke up early (which sucks cause i wanted to sleep in) dealt with some friend drama and then goofed around till i noticed my phone had switched times again (suckage) so, i was really running an hour behind. Jesus! I got dressed super quick ( i had to go get my new license at the dmv and they close at 12:30 and i left the house at 11:45... Way to cut it super close) i make it there and to my surprise there wasnt much of a line. I make it to the counter and this lady which right off the bat looks like forking moron starts asking for my information. I hand her my birth certificate which she just glances at it and freaks out cause its in spanish (cause i was born in puerto rico) and she freaks the fuck out and starts yelling across the room at this old hag - 'HEY IS PUERTO RICO PART OF THE US???' While the whole time im trying to explain to her that pr is a commonwealth of the united states. I just wanted to yell lady I AM NOT MEXICAN! Stop freakin' out. Jeebus. The old hag finally answers her and tells her exactly what i had just told her. She turns to me and says im sorry i just had to make sure. Blah!

They made me take another picture. Did this huge zoom on my face. I was not allowed to smile (wtf) and i look 12. Ha ha. Oh, well now im sure ill find the other license i lost bc thats how life works.

On my way to the city... Pot hole central! I was driving minding my own business - doobie doobie dooo!!! Then holy shit the ground is swallowing me whole! It was not even a pothole more like a huge crater! Thank god i got tire insurance when i got my suv. I was scurred for my life!

Im going to salsa! Heck yeah. Probably not that great and ill probably fall on my face cause im ankle is not strong enough yet but shoo' im going to dance the night away and love it.

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!!!!! :0)
4th-Apr-2009 12:33 am - fuck me silly!
so, uh, since the split I haven't really felt sexual. Like I felt wrong... Being loyal to one person for so long.... I dont know eventhough consciously I knew we weren't together anymore I still felt like I was cheating or something. Weird. I know! BUT Im FUCKING HORNY!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh just saw the episode where shane fucks carmen for the first time and god carmens amazing body with the fucking ink all along her hip bones. Jesus effing Christ - girl boner!
4th-Apr-2009 12:28 am - mmmmm
Just made the best sandwich ever.... EVER!!!! Its quite possibly life changing. Hot damn.

Work was work. Im getting a little used to being on my feet. Im still dragging ass afterwards, though. My friend gave me some amazing drugs! Like a stronger ibuprofen. They make me super drowsy, though ( which is why i keep passing out on you )... I guess it kills two birds with one stone. I dont have the best sleep cycle. I usually have bad insomnia.

I started doing/ using my perfect pushup again... Usually do a few reps in the morning. I have noticed some definition for sure. If i wasnt so damn tired after work i would like to run on my treadmill. We'll see... I cant really run yet. Im struggling with just walking.... Patience!


I HAVE SO MUCH LAUNDRY TO DO!!!!!! Its to fucking insane. i almost want to just give up and buy new clothes. Pathetic i know...

Im going to get my ID tomorrow... I havent found it but i bet ill find it after i get another one. Jesus! Big time suckage.

Okay. Im going to make me another sandwich cause thats how i do *smirk* its just too damn good. Ha ha and people say i dont eat - bitch please!
29th-Mar-2009 04:19 pm(no subject)
Ha ha!!!! I was at this really fancy chicago restaurant last night and it was loud as hell. Rich people dont have inside voices... Anyhow, this lady sitting at the table behind us started talking about the lword. At which point my ears perked up - 'whut??? Lword fans! It cant be.' So, i obviously listen in as she says -'i only watch bc of the women issues' ha ha i totally snorted out loud! Couldnt help myself. I discretely looked and she looked like such a closetted queer!!!! She gets off on the softcore porn.

It was an itallian restaurant and the server leaned in and called me - 'bella' awwwww!!! Heck yeah i am. Shoo' great food! Mmmm in my bellys!

I guess the only downer is that i cant find my id. Which is strange cause i dont take it out of my wallet. So im driving illegally till i can go home and find it.

It snowed!!! Not happy about it. I thought i skipped over all the crap weather. We're driving to schaumburgh right now. I didnt realise how effin long this drive really is... Oh welll!!!! Hope ya'll had a great weekend. I did!
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